It’s weird to be here.
Where is here? Mothers Day. I’m a mother–on Mothers Day.
Last year, I was not a mother on Mothers Day, and that made me quite sad. And angry. And bitter.
It was not a good day, Mothers Day last year.
In fact, I had attempted to plan a trip to San Francisco for Mothers Day weekend just so I wouldn’t have to attend church on the dreaded day. I planned the whole trip, booked tickets, told a bunch of people that we were getting away from Mothers Day … and then I realized I’d booked the wrong weekend. Our trip was the weekend before Mothers Day weekend.
I still ended up at church on Mothers Day.
This year I was at church on Mothers Day.
It was a great day.
It’s amazing how much can change in a year.
Last Mothers Day, I was upset–very. Like I said, it was a rough day.
This Mothers Day, I am on the other side. I have my miracle boy; he’s here, he’s nursing, he’s depriving me of sleep. It’s beautiful, it’s amazing, and I still pinch myself daily–I just can’t believe how much has happened in a year.
Today, on yet another Mothers Day at church, I witnessed a couple leave church early, with somber faces, and silent tears. My heart wrenched, because I have been there. I know exactly what it’s like to think I’m strong enough to make it through the service, to smile through the tears … but I wasn’t.
Mothers Day is a wonderful day. It’s important to remember our mothers, and grandmothers. It’s good to honor them for all they do.
But I will always hurt for the women who long for motherhood every day of the year, but especially on Mothers Day. It’s just a sucky day if you want to be a mother, but aren’t.
So to all the women out there who wish, hope, and pray for motherhood–you are not invisible. You are not alone. I know my remembering the pain I had a year ago doesn’t take away your current pain, but I hope somehow, in someway, our journey can bring you hope.
I’m so blessed to be a mother to a precious little boy named Joshua. One year ago, I never would have guessed that today I would finally attend church on Mothers Day as a mother.
Thank you Lord!
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